But you have to understand that people often have affairs when they feel badly about themselves. And the only person who can make your husband truly feel better about himself is your husband. You can, however, set up an atmosphere that facilitates this. You can try to encourage counseling.
You can offer support as best as you can since you are probably struggling too. And you can take care of and prioritize yourself. If your husband sees you having enough respect for yourself to make yourself a priority, then you are sending a very important message. That you are worthy. That you count too. Confidence is the most sexy asset a woman has. I learned this the hard way but I firmly believe it.
Focusing on her gives her more power. But focusing on yourself and on your marriage takes that power away. There were some things that I did to reestablish my personal and sexual confidence. But ultimately, I came to realize that in order to truly be confident, I had to be myself. Pretending to be someone else rarely works. I had to give the best of myself to me first and then I was able to offer it my husband once we healed.
Skip to content By: Katie Lersch: Not all wives who find out that their husband has been cheating on them want to make things work. But He Has Cheated Before. There are people out there previously myself included who truly have no idea that predators exist out there, and want to suck you dry. Narcissists know what they want in their prey. They study people and their mannerisms, their aura, their sense of self, the self-esteem, they know how to pick the perfect victim for their abuse.
You probably know how it goes. They turn the tables on you, calling out your past transgressions, or blame you for the way they are, they might go ahead and threaten you, the whole shebang! If you want to beat narcissists at their own game, ignore them! Narcissists love ignoring their victims.
They manipulate you so that their love and validation is like a casino to you. They are getting you addicted to them like a drug. The sad reality of narcissistic relationships is that narcissists target people who are dying for love, attention and validation from someone, anyone! They capitalize on this and remind you every once in a while that no one wants you, and that they are taking pity on you.
Back to ignoring the narcissist: it might go wrong if all you do is refuse to reply to them, either in person, or to their text messages.
The real way to do it is to downplay their achievements. Keep it neutral and low. Check out: How to Trust Yourself More. Narcissists love to take jabs at their victims. Telling them that no one loves them, or that they are liars and treat the narcissist badly. Mostly, these will be lies.
And the thing about the narcissistic abuse victims is that they will be in shock at these falsehoods, and thus they will sputter and gasp, trying to defend themselves against their blatant lies. What is it with these narcissists? They state clear falsehoods, waiting for the poor victims to take the bait and begin defending themselves. Narcissists LOVE looking at us squirm and fight to save our reputations.
In this step on how to beat narcissists at their own game, we are going to not react to their jabs. Take it from me, there is no reason to defend yourself against a malicious narcissist saying wrong things about you, that you know are not true. They are lying manipulating cheats. They have trapped you in their toxic abuse because you are the kind of person who will believe that kind of insulting behavior.
The weak-minded ones. I still struggle to believe that none of what happened is my fault. I feel like narcissists should be in jail, or at least a psych ward. But no, they roam free, looking like average people; but inside they are harboring a great evil. They are ready to target unsuspecting genuinely nice people who could never harm a fly.
This is a book I wrote after successfully breaking free of the narcissist in my life. If you keep fighting for yourself, in the end you will prosper. All it takes is consistency. Indeed, this is one of the biggest sticking points of newbies who just joined the Baltimore Lair. You see, when a relationship starts, everything is hunky dory. Enjoy that while it lasts! However, every relationship will soon reach a stage where the woman would want to prove that she has the upper hand.
This is the point where there will be a tussle for control and dominance in the relationship. And when this happens, women want to prove that they still have the upper hand in the relationship. Simple, really — it would be to let her know that you value self-respect more than anything else. Yes, this means that she becomes secondary to your own self-respect. And once you open her eyes to this simple fact, she is sure to drop the game and run back into your arms again.
Because then she will be afraid to lose you but only if you play your cards right. Remember: women only play these games because they are craving attention. If you stop giving them attention, the mind games will stop. Well, who fucking cares? Think about it: why not let a woman have a taste of her own medicine? In fact, we have found that for guys who are stuck in the dreaded friend zone, playing mind games is the surest way to get out, bar none.
The word-for-word scripts can be found on pages 7 to 9 of the Action Checklist download for free here. T hrough our experience of coaching men in the Baltimore Lair more the last 16 years, we have come to know this: a potent combination of Jealousy and Disrespect usually marks the end of the seducer. Problems like women mind games are best nipped in the bud. And if you do things correctly, she will completely transform into a docile little kitten yearning for your control and domination.
Indeed, once you mastered this technique you will be able to know exactly what and how a woman thinks — and this is tremendous advantage to any seducer.
So, if you do not agree to this condition our lawyers have asked us to put up this disclaimer , then do not click on this link below —. PS : Leave me messages below if you have got questions. Now I flip the tables around and play mind games on women instead… loving every single minute.
If she wants commitment then she should show you she deserves it. If she keeps getting humiliating and abussive then get rid of her BUT give her a good taste of her own medicine before you do. She is a lost cause but you should not let anyone use you like a doormat. Revenge is dish best served cold. Easy way is just to spread the word around about her. You decide if the fight is worth the battle! Am married to my wife and its almost a year now.
I initially decided to leave my personal bank account and do most deposit into hers showing transparency. From the time we started our relationship my wife has never been open wit her salary.
Instead she ll only do her house obligations and mostly want to know how much making because I do own my own computer business. However, due to her secrecy about money, I decided also to stop talking about cash and manage my own financial issues. Lastly, she likes going through my phone checking my conversations with legion of clients to the extent of phoning and fighting with some of them.
Her siblings too insults me and disrespect me. That was three months ago. Then I fought back her mind games using Fractionation, and she has surrendered her dominance to me.
Sweet, sweet tears! Her attitude towards me is making me hate her as a person. I enjoy our laughs but its like she show less interest in me. What can I do? Run away two kids! Unless you want to play uno reverse you self out of you there mate for sure… but if you want her attention be there for her when she gets down from looking after kids. You stop playing them or you never play them in the first place!
Sometimes, the best way to win is to not play the game at all. I refuse to play mind games, and it pisses me off whenever a girl does them!
To my fellow men: tell her to kick rocks whenever she starts messing with your head. Playing mind games is a complete waste of time! It depends. Many of you suggested not to play that kind of game. The problem is I find it extremely infuriating is that they still get away with it feeling better about themselves knowing they will continue getting attentions from guys whom they like. There are so many whores out there.
Letting her know about her mistakes, insult her, and leave her. That may sound harsh but surely will get your message across. Validate yourself instead of seeking approval from others. A gentleman does not get walked over. Move on and dont bite the bait when she tries to make you feel sorry for her or when she tells you how much she misses you.
The old behaviour will come back and this time she might even go for the kill by cheating on you because you hurt her ego by standing up for yourself. It was fun while it lasted. That is simply well worded and true. She knows exactly the buttons to push and turning it back on me. Focus your attention on something abstract and rewarding.
In other words, dont focus on women all that much. A wise man once told me if you spend your life trying to make people like you and bend them to your will you will only find failure because human beings will always let you down — it is part of our nature. Instead dedicate your time and energy to something abstract like art or philosophy or religion, whatever, these things wont let you down because that is their nature.
Women will always end up with a man. As soon as you married a woman all your efforts go down the drain. How do I know? Alpha male, married late in life and after 7 years of marriage she destroyed a family and left the kids with me. Nothing wrong with long term commitments, just do not marry them the law is on their side and pretty much everything else, even if they are cheating whores. I think she just wants to dominate you. She might not care about your needs because she might be a feminist!
Fight fire with fire. You can tame a feminist using Fractionation. Trust me on this. I am so glad that I never married. What I have is my own. Just slept with a very hot babe today. She was great, but whatever. And the truth is, even if a woman grows as fat as swine, they can still and do still cheat, because there is always some pathetic loser who will do her.
All of that said, when I was a young guy, women treated me with a great deal of respect. From what I see today, women act like trash and try to see how much crap you will take off of them. Harry, I think you nailed it. The Adderall-addicted, alcoholic women of the world are truly messed up. Dude, this one chick was playing some serious mind control games from the beginning, she when I finally caught on, and stood up to her, she blocked me on Facebook.
We met on POF and moved over to Facebook. I really escalated this chick to the point she was sending me nude pics and videos of herself. I gave her my number and told her to call me. She kept telling me she would call me, but never did. Uh, na. So I told her if she really wanted to meet up, come to my house.
She never replied for a couple of days. Your site should be banned. I hope you burn in hell. So self righteous, eh? I have to say that the article above kind of made me shudder.
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